September 25, 2013
Just a little over a week ago my world was shaken up a bit on Monday Sept. 16th by a stroke. Yep...that's right...if you had not already heard I-a forty year old mom and heart transplant survivor-had a stroke. I am one of the lucky ones. I left the hospital 2 days later with full functionality of all my limbs and could speak better than when I had been admitted. When I smile-it is symmetrical. A "full recovery" they call it.
But, I'm not sure a person who has a stroke can ever have a "full recovery". What does that mean exactly? Yes, my right arm functions just as well as it did before the day of the stroke-when I felt like it had been amputated and wasn't even there. Yes, I can hold a conversation with you and I'm pretty sure-most of the time- you can understand what I am saying. (Scott may disagree-at times). Yes, when I smile, it looks like every other smile in hundreds of photos I've had taken-there is no lopsidedness or droopiness.
But what you can't see is that I'm hesitant to get behind the wheel of car, especially if my kids are with me-for fear it will happen again. What you might not know is that this once avid reader of books (several at any given time) can hardly concentrate on one page if it has more than three sentences on it and am now continually losing my place on the page. Spending anymore than a half hour at the computer or on my I-pad overwhelms me and my eyes feel like they are dancing. I have to walk away and come back later-yes, even to finish this blog. My concentration to knit is even difficult and making it to the end of one row in a square block is to be celebrated. Things I most definitely took for granted that I would always be able to do easily are a bit more challenging. Loud noises, or many people talking at once, or any combination of chaotic conversation is distracting and overwhelming. I can now sympathize with those who cannot tolerate too much stimuli. I can relate to my daughter and her Dyslexia, and perhaps even with those individuals that have been diagnosed with ADHD to a certain extent.
My doctor says this is perfectly normal. It just takes time for the brain to make the new connections and she encourages me to keep trying. The blockage occurred in a smaller branch of the brain so really, I am lucky.
The tests have been run to see if they can determine a cause, but for now, we just wait for results. And I try, a little each day, to resume my "normal" activity. I am thankful and grateful for the friends and family who've come to my aid this past week; for the gifts, cards and messages of encouragement; and the offers of help that I've yet to call upon.
I want to take a moment to thank God for the opportunity to even try to get back to normal so soon. I want to thank Him for the opportunity to see things in a whole new perspective-one that could not have been viewed from my pre-stroke self.
"For I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
But, I'm not sure a person who has a stroke can ever have a "full recovery". What does that mean exactly? Yes, my right arm functions just as well as it did before the day of the stroke-when I felt like it had been amputated and wasn't even there. Yes, I can hold a conversation with you and I'm pretty sure-most of the time- you can understand what I am saying. (Scott may disagree-at times). Yes, when I smile, it looks like every other smile in hundreds of photos I've had taken-there is no lopsidedness or droopiness.
But what you can't see is that I'm hesitant to get behind the wheel of car, especially if my kids are with me-for fear it will happen again. What you might not know is that this once avid reader of books (several at any given time) can hardly concentrate on one page if it has more than three sentences on it and am now continually losing my place on the page. Spending anymore than a half hour at the computer or on my I-pad overwhelms me and my eyes feel like they are dancing. I have to walk away and come back later-yes, even to finish this blog. My concentration to knit is even difficult and making it to the end of one row in a square block is to be celebrated. Things I most definitely took for granted that I would always be able to do easily are a bit more challenging. Loud noises, or many people talking at once, or any combination of chaotic conversation is distracting and overwhelming. I can now sympathize with those who cannot tolerate too much stimuli. I can relate to my daughter and her Dyslexia, and perhaps even with those individuals that have been diagnosed with ADHD to a certain extent.
My doctor says this is perfectly normal. It just takes time for the brain to make the new connections and she encourages me to keep trying. The blockage occurred in a smaller branch of the brain so really, I am lucky.
The tests have been run to see if they can determine a cause, but for now, we just wait for results. And I try, a little each day, to resume my "normal" activity. I am thankful and grateful for the friends and family who've come to my aid this past week; for the gifts, cards and messages of encouragement; and the offers of help that I've yet to call upon.
I want to take a moment to thank God for the opportunity to even try to get back to normal so soon. I want to thank Him for the opportunity to see things in a whole new perspective-one that could not have been viewed from my pre-stroke self.
"For I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
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