Changes are coming...Part 2

Check out Changes are coming...Part 1 of this update BEFORE you read this post please.  Because I'm "Blog Challenged" I don't know how to put the link right here for you to conveniently click on.  You can find it at the bottom of this page if you click on "Older Posts" on the bottom right hand side.  Thanks.

First, I would like to apologize for having to split this blog up in different segments.  It just was so long and I know how difficult it is to sit down and read something lengthy on a computer, tablet or phone screen.  I feel a little guilty leaving off where I did, but I had to describe to everyone what it’s been like the last few months to adequately reflect on these next chapters.  And, as a writer at heart, you have to end a chapter with your audience wanting more J  LOL

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In early March, out of the blue I received an email from an acquaintance & sister in Christ who asked if I would be willing to let her come and pray for me and lay her hands on me for healing.  We hadn’t seen each other in a while and though she knew I had a heart transplant 25 years ago, she wasn’t aware I needed another one.  We have mutual friends in common via our church & homeschool community and had recently become “friends on Facebook”.  She contacted me after finding out my latest medical news from a mutual homeschool mom.  Since she’d been convicted by the Lord to step out in faith and ask those with medical issues to pray for the Lord’s healing power to fix their condition, she contacted me.   I agreed, feeling anything is worth a try, and we scheduled a visit.  The first visit was postponed but reschedule for March 17^th, which happened to be the day after my crying spell in my bedroom the morning before. (AGAIN-see yesterday's Blog Update Part 1)

We had a lovely visit upon her arrival and soon after I felt as if I was catching up with a long-lost friend whom I’d not seen in years.  And then she held my hands as she prayed over me in Jesus’s name, and as I sat there on my couch clinging to this new friend’s hands, my desire for her prayers and her bequests from God was to heal this broken heart of mine and breathe life back into it.  All along I’ve just wanted to keep Eli’s heart until the day my Lord takes us home-together.

 And during her audible prayers and my internal requests, a sensation swelled in my torso.  I’d experienced this sensation before…many times in fact over the last several days…just never in my torso.  The swirling, whirling one gets when they’ve stood up too fast, or light headed and dizzy from spinning around in a swing, or too many margaritas or wine, or when your blood pressure is low (as had been my case the last week to this point).  Yes, I’d been experiencing that sensation enough recently in my head to know exactly what it feels like.  Only this time the feeling was ONLY in my torso. From below my neck to above my pubic bone.

Friends…trust me…I second guessed it.  But it was only for a moment to identify the sensation.  Then for the briefest moment, amidst the swirling, there was a faint warmth, much like the radioactive dye during my heart caths-just not as hot.  And then it was gone, and I was crying and my friend was crying and we talked some more, prayed a bit, and then she left.

 And I found myself desiring to be left alone.  Alone with my thoughts. Alone with my prayers. Alone with trying to discern what had happened, to logically explain it. Finding no answers of this world, I succumbed to the knowledge that God is working in me and I’m just going to let Him do what He does best.  And His ways are better than I can possibly imagine.

This visit occurred on March 17^th.  Over the course of the next two days, I found myself having more stamina to sit upright longer. (I was usually lounging in my bed or couch to help calm the symptoms, but had been having to lie down and even finding that wasn’t as effective anymore.)  My cough that I’ve had off and on for well over a year… that had become an irritating dry cough causing my hoarse voice…the cough that had been waking me up at night for weeks, was almost non-existent and I had my first good night’s sleep that same night.  I didn’t wake up until 6am for 3 mornings in a row!

On March 19^th, as Scott was preparing our home and yard for a Trail Life event that night, I had a pretty good morning and day (enough to help pick up the house a little bit-as I was being chastised for helping & sent to my room J).  One of the boy’s mom (a friend of mine) came that afternoon and I visited with her (upright) for over 3 hours.  All said and done I was upright or standing most of Saturday and did NOT feel exhausted by 9pm (or earlier) as I have been the last 3-4 weeks.  And my heart?  Where were all those Olympic gymnasts that had taken up residence inside?  On vacation?  Quit?  I don’t know, but they had seemed to disappear.

On March 20^th we drove to Livermore to stay with my friend/step-cousin after dropping the kids off at my mom’s so we’d have a shorter drive to Stanford on Monday morning.   On March 21^st, Scott dropped me off in the front of the hospital and I checked in to the heart transplant clinic while he parked the car.  After stats were taken we were given a room and the coordinator came in and we went over medicine and medical history, current vitals, vitals I’d recorded at home, and she had me explain my daily routine to her to gauge my level of activity. 

After she left, a nurse came in and introduced herself.  I recognized her from over 25 years ago and she said she’d just popped into say Hi.  She’d been 1 of the 3 coordinators at Stanford during my transplant.  She spoke of receiving the phone call from my sister out of the blue in November and being sorry to hear about my situation, but pleased to hear about the kids etc. that I was able to have after transplant.  She is now one of the heart transplant clinical trial coordinators, so she still has her hand in the transplant stuff.  Then the cardiologist came in and lo and behold she was also one of the cardiologists here during my first transplant!

Again, she went over the same stuff and asked why I was here?  Seriously?  So I explained I was here to see if I was a candidate for another heart transplant and she too asked me my daily routine and what tasks I could do now.  She set me at Stage 3 out 4 with regards to the what stage of heart failure she would categorize me as.  She explained not just one person made the decision to list me as a candidate, it was a whole team.  She told me that even though my local liver doc & the liver doc they sent me to had cleared me for the heart transplant & both agreed I did not need a new liver too, the team wanted to make sure that the liver isn’t going to be an issue.  Because now that it’s been determined that I have cirrhosis, I’m more susceptible for liver cancer. So they are going to seek a 3rd opinion from the head liver transplant doctor at Stanford, to make absolutely sure that I don’t need a liver transplant as well. 

The disappointing part of the appointment was that they hadn’t scheduled any of the appointments they said I needed this visit…an EKG & Echo. After coaxing on our part to get some tests done while we were in town, they were able to get an EKG  put in an order for a chest x-ray.  We completed those tests on Monday, but the echo lab was booked solid. So we were able to get a morning echo appointment for Tuesday and stayed the night in Livermore again with my friend and additional night. 

The cardiologist also told me I’d have my annual heart checkup schedule for May or June and that I’d not only come to clinic, but have a stress echo, chest x-ray & labs.  I asked her if I needed to also have another heart cath and she said “No, there’s no need for another one of those.  We know where you stand…and it’s not going to change.  It’s not going to get better.”

They had told me the same thing at my January appointment.  And yet-once again...no movement toward getting me listed.

I will stop here for tonight.  One more chapter tomorrow should catch you up to what’s been going on since March 22^nd-and I’ll have an Easter picture or two thrown in there as well! 

I’ll share with you another song that I heard in early March that’s been rising up in my soul lately.

Ride It Out

By Sanctus Real

Sometimes you feel like you're losing yourself in this life
You're a ship with your sails set high and there's wind in the air tonight
You pray someone saves you
Before the storm takes you
When you feel afraid

Don't you turn around in the sea of doubt
You don't want to drown if the ship goes down
So clear your eyes
Keep your sails high
And ride it out

The waves they will shake you
They may strike fear in your heart
Oh, this trial will shape you
Help you find life in the dark
When you stand on the edge of an ocean
Don't let it swallow your faith

Don't you turn around in the sea of doubt
You don't want to drown if the ship goes down
So clear your eyes
Keep your sails high
And ride it out through the sea of doubt
Don't let your fear steal your finest hour
Embrace the ride
Keep your sails high
And ride it out

The wind will take you where you're meant to be
The waves will break when your Creator speaks
And when it's over you will clearly see
That the storm was only there to show you what it takes to believe